Have you finally orgasmed yet?
you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I really need to get a comfy set of masturbating shoes
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