Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
Randomize
