Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Randomize
