if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
