Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
