I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
