I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
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