The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
honey bunches of taint.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
