What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
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