next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
Randomize
