we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
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I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
telling her she was ovary-acting wasn't the greatest idea. doing it in a text so she could see your spelling was where you really went wrong, though.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
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I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
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