I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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