Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Is it possible to hurt your vagina working out, because I think my Dumbass accomplished that... 😯😟😒😓
Do I even want to know?
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
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