ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
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Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
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