i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
guy next to me on the train just pulled out two bottles of gin and a block of cheddar. is slowly making his way through all of them.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
Randomize
