I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
i told him i was allergic to semen. he pulled out an epipen.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
Randomize
