are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
Randomize
