I woke up this morning and was hoping we drank enough last night to have a unicorn drawn on my wrist. Good News: We did.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Randomize
