So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
So I got hit in the face with a frying pan. So def wont be at work for first break if I'm there at all
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
Randomize
