Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
Randomize
