youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he wouldn't shut up and let me sleep
yeah i got into a fight with my man last night
why can't men just shut up and put out?
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
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She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Congratulations! We have a period
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