Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
