if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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