He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
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I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
If I get laid tonight it will 1.) Prove that the sex gods do in fact exist, and 2.) Show that I am one motherfucking badass bitch.
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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