Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Thank you for being so charming, but do you have syphilis?
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