it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the majority of my texts from you are at 3 AM & consist of either "I'm drunk", "you're asian", or "bratwurst"
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Randomize