God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Randomize
