unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
at least if we puke, we will be surrounded by beautiful, non-judgemental trees.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
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