maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I FEEL LIKE I CAN TAKE DOWN A FULLY GROWN MOUNTAIN LION WITH ONLY A POINTY STICK OH MY GOD
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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