We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
I have a present for you
Like a legit gift, not just me showing up and getting naked
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
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