Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
Just remembered I railed lines while holding a puppy
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Terrible idea I love it
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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