Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Pregnant only lasts nine months, being hot takes way longer to go away. So yes, I will continue to hit on the hot pregnant girl.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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