I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
