hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
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