He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
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