I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
