im about as happy as oj after his trial
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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