just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Naked. naked and bneed help.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
Randomize
