My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.