Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
