so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
they call him Oral-B. enough said
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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