I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
