I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
