when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
I saw you try to drink out of a soda machine at taco bell, don't worry about judging
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i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
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He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
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