I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
