Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(416): View more from Ontario

No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her

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(604): View more from British Columbia

i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.

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(250): View more from British Columbia

I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.

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Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags
Read it at the TFLN blog
(215): View more from Pennsylvania

Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.

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(209): View more from California

She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.

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(570): View more from Pennsylvania

Odd question. Did you find a 20 in your boxers? I need it for gas.

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(937): View more from Ohio

Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.

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(309): View more from Illinois

Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.

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