i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza