Texts From Last Night

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  (716): View more from New York

  I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook

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  (716): I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook http://tfl.nu/bd4f
  Replies (8) Good night (3544) Bad night (699)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"

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  (203): it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq" http://tfl.nu/vhsj
  Replies (19) Good night (1633) Bad night (3291)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again

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  (703): oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again http://tfl.nu/dw4b
  Replies (20) Good night (3781) Bad night (1167)
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  (513): View more from Ohio

  So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.

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  (513): So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations. http://tfl.nu/znj0
  Replies (19) Good night (5922) Bad night (943)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.

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  (678): What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick. http://tfl.nu/v9tv
  Replies (11) Good night (3966) Bad night (1059)
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  (785): View more from Kansas

  this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln

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  (785): this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln http://tfl.nu/pu0o
  Replies (3) Good night (3534) Bad night (1312)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.

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  (+44): You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery. http://tfl.nu/036p
  Replies (7) Good night (1364) Bad night (2125)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  the head trauma was worth the blowjob.

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  (602): the head trauma was worth the blowjob. http://tfl.nu/e9mc
  Replies (12) Good night (2235) Bad night (852)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.

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  (503): I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too. http://tfl.nu/alyx
  Replies (5) Good night (2311) Bad night (576)
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  (623): View more from Arizona

  Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."

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  (623): Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN." http://tfl.nu/7rib
  Replies (13) Good night (2954) Bad night (1181)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet

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  (803): Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet http://tfl.nu/m2pn
  Replies (3) Good night (1373) Bad night (557)
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  (515): View more from Iowa

  After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm

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  (515): After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm http://tfl.nu/0xl4
  Replies (2) Good night (601) Bad night (304)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven

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  (954): Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven http://tfl.nu/uc72
  Replies (2) Good night (573) Bad night (265)
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  (210): View more from Texas

  I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.

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  (210): I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving. http://tfl.nu/75v3
  Replies (6) Good night (743) Bad night (240)
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  (253): View more from Washington

  If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.

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  (253): If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls. http://tfl.nu/vsnx
  Replies (2) Good night (624) Bad night (215)

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