You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
she told me i tasted like america
29 Frat Parties That Got Way Too Out Of Control
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
15 Ridiculous Ways Broke People Managed to Make a Buck
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
I just remembered touching your bosses wife's fake tits last night. Thanks again for taking me to your work function.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already