I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
