i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
There is only so much cookie dough and masturbating I can handle in one night.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
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Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
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CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
It all started with a game of naked twister.