Texts From Last Night

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  (913): View more from Kansas

  your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.

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  (913): your life is more of a joke than dina lohan. (1-913): if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan. http://tfl.nu/safo
  Replies (7) Good night (807) Bad night (1875)
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  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move

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  (617): Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move http://tfl.nu/h692
  Replies (54) Good night (680) Bad night (3162)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  and next time when you feel me up, do it right

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  (303): and next time when you feel me up, do it right http://tfl.nu/7fkv
  Replies (21) Good night (796) Bad night (3817)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.

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  (216): She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here. http://tfl.nu/4k59
  Replies (65) Good night (2999) Bad night (5501)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.

  (1-919): View more from North Carolina

  And that worked?

  (919): View more from North Carolina

  9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.

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  (919): So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night. (1-919): And that worked? (919): 9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards. http://tfl.nu/moso
  Replies (70) Good night (13853) Bad night (1735)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...

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  (812): No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours... http://tfl.nu/gctx
  Replies (40) Good night (1409) Bad night (3828)
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  (516): View more from New York

  making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"

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  (516): making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage" http://tfl.nu/jy1p
  Replies (9) Good night (4888) Bad night (1018)
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  (650): View more from California

  I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.

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  (650): I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain. http://tfl.nu/vu8q
  Replies (11) Good night (2205) Bad night (929)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.

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  (520): Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today. http://tfl.nu/im22
  Replies (11) Good night (598) Bad night (2503)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous

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  (860): next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous http://tfl.nu/uxgf
  Replies (7) Good night (1257) Bad night (494)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.

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  (630): I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo. http://tfl.nu/gaw2
  Replies (3) Good night (878) Bad night (461)
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  (530): View more from California

  I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.

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  (530): I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century. http://tfl.nu/blji
  Replies (4) Good night (687) Bad night (341)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.

  (1-937): View more from Ohio

  These kind of text worry me.

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  (937): With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong. (1-937): These kind of text worry me. http://tfl.nu/ehdu
  Replies (2) Good night (510) Bad night (391)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.

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  (612): I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week. http://tfl.nu/2ttl
  Replies (4) Good night (395) Bad night (570)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy

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  (281): Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy http://tfl.nu/sn6p
  Replies (1) Good night (412) Bad night (337)

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