i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
you wrote "5 million dollars" in the tip line for the pizza delivery man and insisted that he deserves it
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
not ubering you a puppy
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize