can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
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and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I found out Naomi Campbell and I have the same birthday and I feel like that explains so much
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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