i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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