If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Talk shit all you want but with my new knife sharpener I have a lethal razor sharp pizza cutter. Fuck with me Mario I dare you!
Randomize
