I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I'm currently googling how to make a dress out of a trash bag. It's going to be a great night.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
"I'm pretty sure all our toasts were to Ben Afflecks penis last night."
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
