yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
