whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Googling enemas while I get a pedicure ... My life in one senence
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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