playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
The best part of being a lesbian? If I'm late for work at a hookup's place I can use her make up and peace out. Well and all the sex of course.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
