So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
