You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Randomize
