We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
and then he put stevie wonder on to fuck to...and hummed along as I blew him
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
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