Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
