The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
