So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
He did a 4 wheel burnout and yelled at the cops "Sorry! It's for a school project!". HOW does he think of this shit?
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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