C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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