This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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