No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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