Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
She's the barista slut.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
