haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I'm watching Trainwreck with Jeff and realizing that I'm the John Cena in my relationship.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
