u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
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